We are currently looking for a new manager, this will be the interview process:
The band are speeding along an anonymous motorway somewhere in the north of England, clustered round the table in the back of the van. A familiar debate rages.
RORY: I like cold showers, I really love how it just blasts you awake. It’s like a challenge to force yourself to stay under.
TOM: Nah! Hot showers! So hot you can’t stand it and it makes you skin go blotchy and you can’t think about anything else it’s so hot!
CHARLIE: I just tend to have warm showers, you know about 70% of the maximum heat. Just so it’s comfortable. I prefer to get my kicks outside the bathroom.
ALI: (says nothing and calmly stubs out his cigarette. He has heard this argument countless times before)
CHRISTIAN: Guys… who’s driving the van?
Some of you may have been wondering what on earth we’ve been doing so far this year.
Well, we’ve been figuring out the best way to get our album out to all of you, so that you can hear it.
We’ve been writing a lot of new songs that we hope to debut soon at a place near you.
We’ve been making a short film to complement some of our new songs which we’re gonna screen at a couple of nights in London.
We’ll try and keep you posted, in the meantime have a look at Tom’s paintings here.
This is a track called Glass Eights by John Roberts, from his album of the same name. It’s house music with a glassy classical stability and rhythm. The artwork is cool, with the marble and the shoes, as you can see. This is perfect music for driving around Suffolk in the snow to, which is something I do frequently.
We’ve been jetting around the United Kingdom recently with a band called One Night Only and another band called Big Sleep. Here is a collection of photographs documenting this tour:
Here is us sitting in the upstairs of a bar in Dundee.
Here is our almighty van that shuffles us from port to port.
Here is the Lidl car park in which our van waited for us over the first night.
This is the kind of activity that takes place nightly beside our van.
This is Rory scared out of his mind by something.
This is Thomas taking a moment to consider his options.
This is the labyrinthine sort of layout we have to overcome to find ourselves onstage every night.
This is an example of one of the many discussions that takes place in the back of our van.
This is a short tunnel in Leeds where our van once waited for some minutes.
It’s a cold Wednesday night in Suffolk tonight and we’ve almost finished the four days of rehearsals that are getting us tight for tour on Friday. Christian brought Maoam to band practice today, which was incredibly thoughtful of him. The second best thing about Maoam (after it’s deliciousness) is that the packaging is like fruit pornography:
Wild! It’s great that a cherry and whatever the fuck that is on the right can put aside their obvious differences and make love, and it’s just as great that the second cherry on the stalk doesn’t mind waiting around while his siamese twin gets happy. If you think this a one-off have a search on the internet and you’ll see heaps of pictures of that little green fellow carrying on like it’d be rude not to.
I’m gonna share some House Music with you guys right about now. It’s by Dj Jus Ed, this guy:
And it’s remixed by Levon Vincent. Just wait until the piano jumps you, it’s nice.
UPDATE: The little green fellow is a lime, just did some research and there’s some Daily Mail hate for the smut peddlers at Maoam here.